Finding the people you vibe with the most in life, is in itself a lifelong journey. There is no secret formula to finding the group of people that you can call your best friends in the whole world. But with baby steps, personal standards, and positive energy the people who are meant to stay will gravitate towards us.
Throughout my own life, friends have come and gone. I found that high school puts a lot of stress on the phrase “finding your crowd.” In my first year I was so desperate to fit in that I found myself jumping from one group to another, but in turn was more miserable than ever. Now, with patience and sticking true to my own self, I found that finding the people you enjoy being around is something never fully complete. Life with friends is just like a book. There are several chapters, but they inevitably end. Some chapters longer than others. If we are really lucky some characters might just stick around until the end.
I just heard a quote that said, “Life is not made up of life-long commitments but instead magical moments.”
The meaning behind this quote is that it is human nature to hold onto the amazing feelings we get from certain best friends, but instead of holding on, we should stay present in the moment. A friendship can last 10 years, but instead of dragging the friendship on, enjoy what was a magical chapter in your life that has come to an end.
With that being said, here are my personal tips on how you can lead yourself to finding those people that make life worth living.
1. knock knock, who’s there
While this tip might be underrated, to me I think this is important and that is Humor !! As friends, we all love to joke around. If someone’s humor isn’t compatible to another this can actually impact the friendship more than one thinks. Here is why. Think about it like cooking a meal for your guests. Guest #1 and #2 are love more spice, and in turn you have to make everything spicy. You, however, then must refrain from eating too much because your mouth will be on fire. Now imagine someone’s humor being based at the expense of someone else’s feelings. While one person is joking around, the other person is hurt inside. Another thing that I dealt with personally was saying certain jokes around certain people in fear that if I said something, other people may think I was crazy. I personally feel like the best of friends have compatible senses of humor.
2. keeping you in check
Good friends, CARE!! I cannot stress that point enough. A good friend has your best interest and will be confident in calling you out and keeping you in check. As I like to say it, it is someone who is active, not passive. Because of the dedication friends have to one another, they go out of their way to make sure there friends are the best versions that they can be and work from there. Surround yourself with people who will speak up with you, and love you so much that they want the best to happen to you.
3. Activities/ spontaneity
Hanging out and enjoying several of the same activities is a big part of friendship. Whether a group enjoys reading by the fire or another likes to bike in the mountains, the hobbies one enjoys should also match those of their crowd. People that are more active gravitate just as much as people who enjoy indoor activities.
4. They’ve got you
I truly believe having someone’s back and standing up for friends is what people of a healthy and stable group have in their list of morals. If there is anything that I’ve learned (still learning) is that if you and your group have compatible morals as well, then walking through life is a little sweeter.
Oh how I wish there was a way to find the “your crowd”!
If there is anything you take away from this, it is that your crowd of people will always change, but the people that are meant to stay a while longer are the people that genuinely look like us on the inside.
Peace & Good Vibes 🙂
-Maya ❤
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